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Re: [OM] Warning: flying into (and out of) the UK

Subject: Re: [OM] Warning: flying into (and out of) the UK
From: VS <VS@xxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Wed, 14 May 2003 11:59:12 +1000
In the message I received, Thomas Heide Clausen writes:
>On Mon, 12 May 2003 21:48:14 -0500
>"Gary L. Edwards" <garyetx@xxxxxxxxx> wrote:
>
>> >From all that I've heard it just does not work in the UK.=20
>> >Particularly
>> hardheaded folk at the airports, and no rules like the US FAR on
>> your side.
>
>Just have to conclude that the British do not want visitors and -
>hence - that we should avoid going there...no?

Nah, I think what their security guards at the airport are doing is
helping the local economy, but aren't well versed in stating it as
clearly as it should be.

What you should do next time you visit UK is:
     a. bring your camera equipment if you really must
        - you get bonus points if you add to your equipment while in the
          UK
     b. buy film locally
     c. process film locally, not take it on board with you

If your stay is short and you just want to make a quick shoot'n'run with
your soon-to-be-illegally-imported film, the X-ray machine at the
airport will be set to "fry" and your film will be damaged.

If your photos are valuable to you, you should follow the proper
procedure to visiting the UK stated above.

If a few days processing time is too long for you, you're welcome to
enjoy the hospitality of a myriad of wonderful hotels available in inner
London. If you choose to stay in greater London some points might be
deducted and your film will be processed by trainees and novices at the
photo lab. This of course is not stated in the official score sheet.

You start with ten points. Points are added or deducted according to
your actions.

Score sheet:

Bring your own camera...................................-3
Bring your own lenses...................................-5
Bring your own film...................................-6
Leave on the day of arrival...................................-8
Wanting your film hand checked............................-15
Arguing with security staff...................................-50


Buy a secondhand lens........................................+3
Buy a brand new lens........................................+5
                     

Buy a professional negative film.........................+2
Buy a consumer negative film..........................+1
Buy a professional reversal film.........................+3
Buy a consumer reversal film.........................+2


Process your transparencies ...
in a professional lab..............................+1
in a minilab........................................+2

Prolong your visit just to process your film locally ...
staying at a 5 star hotel in inner London....................+3 per day
staying at a 4 star hotel in inner London....................+2 per day
staying at a 3 star hotel in inner London....................+1 per day
staying at a B&B in inner London..............................+1 per day
staying at a 5 star hotel outside London....................+2 per day
staying at a 4 star hotel outside London....................+1 per day
staying with your family or friends.........................-3 per day

....


Calculate your points. If you have ...

Minus 50 or less:
That's it! You're on the next ship to Australia!


Minus 50 to 0 points:
Yes, you're absolutely correct, sir. Maybe we should hand check your
film - the Tel Aviv Airport style[1].


Between 1 and 10 points:
You, sir, are a scumbag. Be glad we're only going to fry your film, not
turn you in as a suspected terrorist.


Between 11 and 30 points:
Thank you, sir. Come again. Unfortuntely, we can't hand check your film;
it's a policy from above, you see. What we can do for you is wind down
the machine so that it doesn't harm your film. Thank you for visiting
and please come again.


31 points and more:
Right this way, sir. Ah, you have professional film to hand check? It is
against our policy, but we'll do it because you asked nicely. Have a
safe flight.


Hope that helps,

Saso

[1] Don't go there. :-) The subject, I mean, not the country. Actually,
you'll be better off not going there with your camera, period.

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