<satire mode on>
Protective patches for BadUSB will be available in the UNIX world the
week after next. Apple will deny the existence of any problem for six
months, claiming that their hardware and software certification makes
such an exploit impossible. Then they will release a new, called Paper
Tiger. The release will break all email applications. Apple will issue a
patch for this two days later, in which the browser won't work in
western Europe, except for France. Nobody will understand why. Two
days later, another patch will fix everything, except in New Zealand,
where complaints of hideously slow Internet connections will continue
for months. Apple fans will attribute this to user error.
Microsoft will declare that BadUSB is another reason why you must stop
using Windows XP RIGHT NOW, today, and we really mean it! A fix for
Windows 7 and 8 only will be available in four weeks. However, the fix
will difficult to install and use, so most people won't install it. It
will require 32 GB of RAM, Office 2015 and Microsoft Cloud. The
advertising campaign will feature the slogan, "Who scares you more, us
or them?" The phone bank, 1-800-PAY-SRVR, will be manned by several
hundred specially-trained Sri Lankans, who for once managed to undersell
the folks in Bangalore.
Meanwhile, a thousand Chinese manufacturers have ordered new packaging
declaring that their USB products are 100% protected against BadUSB--in
which they will sell exactly the same products as before.
CD and DVD manufacturers will position themselves as the safe
alternative. And all those 3.5" floppy disks you didn't throw out yet
will start to look oddly attractive.
--Peter
Candace wrote:
> Hi back at ya, Moose. :-)
>> On 10/7/14, 1:35 PM, Moose wrote:
>> What is not clear to me, for people in situations like Candace (Nice to
>> hear from you!) is whether simply plugging a USB device in is a real
threat -
>> and I'm too lazy to read/view all the material to which links were
posted.
>> You Should Be Moose
--
_________________________________________________________________
Options: http://lists.thomasclausen.net/mailman/listinfo/olympus
Archives: http://lists.thomasclausen.net/mailman/private/olympus/
Themed Olympus Photo Exhibition: http://www.tope.nl/
|