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[OM] Curmudgeon Update

Subject: [OM] Curmudgeon Update
From: Andrew Fildes <afildes@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Sun, 18 Feb 2007 21:25:39 +1100
Wayne passes on most of the messages that mention me, in case I wish  
to initiate appropriate litigation.
Unfortunately some of you have been making kind comments, thus  
robbing me of some entertainment in my declining years. How dare you!
I did spend some time in the desert - more than the regulation 30  
days at least. Images on the pbase site (below). I put some writing  
on the site too. I did not return with stone tablets or any solution  
to the multitudinous problems of mankind. I decided that life is  
purposeless, bewildering and confused - and learned to enjoy that.
Unfortunately I had some problems there. My knee failed as did the  
subsequent arthroscopy for a torn meniscus.
And my travelling companion revealed himself to be not merely a  
little eccentric as I had thought but a full-blown narcissitic  
personality. Curmudgeons don't mix well with people who have no sense  
of humour and suffer from the delusion that the world revolves around  
their needs. Things got 'difficult'. And it was 'his' vehicle. I'd  
have kept calm but he began to criticise my driving skills. No true  
friend would ever do that. Eventually I just had to resign from his  
fan club.
In early December I had a full knee replacement and so, like many  
other celebrities, I spent a chunk of the Christmas break in rehab. - 
with post-operative pain and severe sciatica. Things are slowly  
returning to normal but now that I'm off the heavy prescription  
drugs, I'm quite grumpy. Damn, I miss Oxycontin - only took me four  
days to break that habit. Someone told me that you can't buy even  
codeine over the counter in the States - no wonder you're all so  
annoyed.
Retirement didn't work - the phone started ringing. I'm back to  
teaching Philosophy part-time on my own terms and have been well  
supplied with contract writing work. In fact I had to work from my  
hospital bed to keep up - when one rather officious nurse demanded to  
know what I thought I was doing working at 10pm, I pointed out that I  
was "probably earning double what you are right now."  Obviously the  
opiates didn't dull me down too much but I did have to reread  
everything after I got straight.

Why did i not return? Well, I almost never use an Oly anymore except  
as a reviewer. Last one was a waterproof compact, the 725 Tough which  
I though a bit too much of a handbag design. Fun though to write  
about how it was also sandproof, beerproof and vomitproof. However I  
did feel a pang of nostalgia when the school photographer showed up  
last week with three E-1's. He likes them because they're bulletproof  
and give good flesh tones.

ALERT - the above message is personal in character and make no  
pretence to Oly relevance. Murkins should note that in addition to  
proper English spelling rather than regional novelty dialect, it  
contains several examples of irony which is a literary mode that you  
may not fully understand or recognise. Attempts at retaliation by  
snide references to my own errors and poor syntax will be met with  
derision, contempt and a detailed and public discussion of your own  
failings. Or references from Wittgenstein's Tractatus; whichever I  
feel might be more damaging.
Andrew Fildes
afildes@xxxxxxxxxxxxx
http://www.pbase.com/afildes



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