From: "Gregg" <giverson@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
List traffic seems to be down today so I thought I would pick it up by
sending out a virus. We haven't had one for some time now.
*********** BEGIN VIRUS***********
This virus works on the honor system.
Please delete all the files on your hard disk, then forward this message to
everyone you know.
Thank you for your cooperation.
=================================================
Awright, Gregg, just remember - you started this.
-------------------------------------------------
Virtual persons should beware a unique strain of computer virus, only
recently recognized as such although it has been pervasive for several
years, dating back approximately to when AOL began offering unlimited
internet access for a flat fee.
This virus, named CLOY, is embedded in ordinary e-mail text and may be
transmitted even without opening any attachments or executable files.
Infected computers may exhibit these symptoms:
--Sprites running around your desktop, randomly hugging icons;
--Your desktop is rearranged according to the principles of feng shui;
--While writing correspondence, e-mail, etc., you're interrupted by a
helpful voice that's taken over your sound card, saying things like, "Are
you sure that's how you want to phrase that?"
--Your Recycle Bin is emptied several times a day, files are wipe deleted,
and the bin is polished with Lemon Pledge;
--"Don't put your coffee there, sweetie," a sprite reminds you helpfully
every day;
--Periodically a sprite says, "Luv you lots!" If you don't respond it says,
"Luv me?" then goes off and sulks for a while.
While Macintosh OS 9.x was believed to have been vulnerable to CLOY,
investigation reveals these were normal characteristics of the operating
system.
Evidence also shows an increasing number of people are being infected with
CLOY. Symptoms include:
--Gazing open-mouthed and nodding absently while reading e-mail with content
described as homiletic, poetic with verses reminiscent of ballads from REO
Speedwagon, or parables ending with the protagonist giving away his shoes to
a footless man on the way to Samaria;
--An irresistible urge to forward the same to a dozen other people.
If you feel any of these symptoms please lie down until the urge passes.
Then forward this message to twelve friends.
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