OK, Ken, now you've done it. After all this seriousness about OM vs Leica,
Photo Contests, etc, here's some comic relief about a photographer that gets
himself into a mixed up situation.... (no offense to anyone - it is a
joke...)
< >The Smiths had no children and decided to use a surrogate father to
start
> >their family. When the surrogate father was scheduled to arrive, Mr.
Smith
> >kissed his wife goodbye and said, "I'm off to the office. The man
> >should be here soon."
> >
> >A half-hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
> >rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, madam. You
> >don't know me, but I've come to ..."
> >
> >"Oh, no need to explain," interjected Mrs. Smith. "I've been expecting
> >you."
> >
> >"Really?" asked the photographer. "Well, good! I've
> >made a specialty of babies."
> >
> >"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
> >seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing.
> >
> >"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
> >bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes,
> >the living room floor is fun too -- you can really spread out."
> >
> >"The bathtub? The living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry
> >and me."
> >
> >"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if
> >we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven
> >angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
> >
> >"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped
> >Mrs. Smith.
> >
> >"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in
> >and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm
> >sure."
> >
> >"Don't I know!" exclaimed Mrs. Smith.
> >
> >The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
> >baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."
> >
> >"Oh my gosh!" she exclaimed, tugging at her hanky.
> >
> >"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when
> >you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The
> >photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.
> >
> >"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
> >
> >"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the
> >job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing
> >to get a good look."
> >
> >"Four and five deep?" questioned Mrs. Smith, in amazement.
> >
> >"Yes, and for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly
> >squealing and yelling. I could barely concentrate. Then, darkness
> >approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels
> >began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
> >
> >Mrs. Smith leaned forward, "You mean they actually
> >chewed on your equipment?!"
> >
> >"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set
> >up my tripod so that we can get to work."
> >
> >"Tripod?" gasped Mrs. Smith with an extremely worried look.
> >
> >"Oh, yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on.
> >It's much too big to hold while I'm getting ready for action... Madam?
> >Madam? Good gosh, she's fainted!"
----- Original Message -----
From: Ken Norton <image66@xxxxxxx>
To: <olympus@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Friday, August 06, 1999 10:51 AM
Subject: [OM] Random Spewage
>"Vert and Toky"
>Vert and Toky are my faithful teleconverters that have taken on a life of
>their own. Unfortunately, for Acer, I have since lost the origional
>postings on the saga of Vert and Toky. Maybe somebody on the list still
>has them and will repost them or something. They were from early and
>mid-1998. Vert is serving faithfully as an auto-extension tube and Toky
>was spared the knife. There WILL be another episode emerging soon.
>
>"On Leicas and other fancy jewelry"
>To add to Doris' lines: Vinyl is just as good as leather in car interiors.
> Seriously folks, this is a pretty lame argument all the way around.
>Aren't we kinda oddballs just because of our strict adherence to the
>'OM-Way'? Liecas are quality cameras and the price is representative of
>that. I've been casually looking at vehicles lately as we are planning on
>replacing the Suburban with something newer, more reliable and comfy. Has
>anybody looked at the price of a Toyata LandCruiser lately? Is a Toyota
>worth THAT MUCH more than a Chevy Tahoe? Well, what is build quality,
>safety and reliability worth? The fact that a LandCruiser is a "status
>symbol" is terciary in our vehicle search. I want my wife to be
>comfortable driving a larger vehicle and I want our children to be as safe
>as possible. And I want a vehicle that WILL start and go anywhere when
>needed. Same thing with cameras: A Leica is an extremely well built and
>engineered camera. If you absolutely MUST get the shot, and it absolutely
>must be a "no-excuses" camera there are only a few choices in the world and
>Leica comes out at or near the very top. The reality is that a new Leica
>outfit isn't out of line when compared to a Nikon F5 outfit or Canon EOS-1N
>outfit -- or how about medium format equipment? These are tools, and you
>spend as much on a laptop computer that will last 2 years if you are lucky.
>
>"On Canon cameras..."
>Sorry to kick a dead gift horse in the mouth when it's down, but I must
>relate some recent "discoveries". Yes, I still suffer aggrivation of the
>Carpel-Tunnel when using the Canon A2, but using a stroboframe helps a
>whole bunch. The viewfinder in the Canon is much better than my OM-2S when
>aimed at bright lights as the OM's submirror and viewfinder optics have a
>tendency to flare more. That said, I am having difficulties with the small
>'image size' of the Canon. The image is so much more distant than the OM,
>I am having trouble seeing people's faces to know when I can shoot. I have
>developed a "two-eye" approach to taking wedding formals where I look
>through the viewfinder with one eye and keep my other eye open for watching
>for blinks during the exposure. I can't do that with the Canon as the
>viewfinder size doesn't come anywhere near my normal vision. I finally got
>around to messing with the custom functions on the A2 and I hope this next
>wedding goes a bit better. I changed the rewind to fast (I missed an
>important shot at the last wedding thanks to syrup slow rewind) and
>disabled the focus-assist light. That bright red light is extremely
>distracting to people and really unnecessary for most wedding work.
>Besides, I don't always like to let people know I'm taking their picture.
>
>"Contax 645"
>Still drooling. This is a camera I truly feel at home with. For me, it is
>THE logical progression from an OM system. Of course, I'll still have to
>keep an Olympus around as a "backup". An interesting side note: I recieved
>a survey from Contax asking about digital stuff and they listed occupations
>that you could fill in. Not one option was "photographer" but Physican,
>Upper Management, Lawyer, etc., was well represented in the choices.
>Wonder where their primary customerbase is?
>
>"Minolta IV-F vs. Polaris Flash Meter"
>In the wedding equipment I use, there is a IV-F that I spent some time
>doing serious comparisons with my Polaris. I did some controlled testing
>with each along with my old Luna-Pro and the OM-2S. The Polaris is as much
>(but no more) than 1/3 stop low when the sole light source (bare bulb) is
>greater than 110 degrees off axis of the dome. Otherwise, it is always
>within 1/10 of the Minolta, but strangly enough closer to the Luna-Pro in
>every ambient light measurement. The Minolta has the analog scale
>reprentation which is very nice, and averaging along with a slew of other
>features, but for the price, the Polaris is a fine Digital Flash Meter and
>every bit as accurate as the Minolta. Nice thing about the Polaris is that
>the dome slides over and it becomes a reflected light meter (highly
>accurate in my tests), whereas the Minolta requires another attachment to
>be a reflected light meter. (DO NOT USE the Minolta as a reflected light
>meter without the attachments as the reading is WAY off).
>
>"List humor"
>Or is that "humour?" I appreciated Giles' "Wood-Worm Highrise" post. I
>thought for sure that the list was in good hands. But NOoooooo! Do I have
>to come back around from time to time to beat some life back into you all?
>Is that the role that I must play? Must I be the "enforcer" of
>light-heartedness? Good grief, I can't leave you alone for a month without
>things turning sour. We can't take ourselves too seriously--after all we
>are in love with a camera system that has pretty much been abandoned by the
>manafacturer and marketplace. We are dinasours hanging on desparately
>trying to survive the global climate change caused by the Canon Asteroid.
>Yes, we are all destined to extinction and there isn't anything we can do
>about it except trot on down to the local tar pit and fall in. What is
>that you say? We are not totally dead yet? That is true, but our fates
>have been decided and we are just waiting to be obliverated when Mount
>Olympus blows. We are carrion in this photographic world.
>
>There! I hope you all feel better now.
>
>Ken Norton
>
>< This message was delivered via the Olympus Mailing List >
>< For questions, mailto:owner-olympus@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >
>< Web Page: http://Zuiko.sls.bc.ca/swright/olympuslist.html >
>
>
< This message was delivered via the Olympus Mailing List >
< For questions, mailto:owner-olympus@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx >
< Web Page: http://Zuiko.sls.bc.ca/swright/olympuslist.html >
|