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RE: [OM] Introduction haegint

Subject: RE: [OM] Introduction haegint
From: AG Schnozz <agschnozz@xxxxxxxxx>
Date: Fri, 25 Jul 2003 08:00:01 -0700 (PDT)
>I've heard that 25 percent of US accidents now 
>involve the use of cell phones. I have no idea as to the
>validity of that.

I believe it.  I have a horrible time talking on the cell-phone
while balancing a cup of hot coffee and eating a breakfast bagel
and shifting gears.  Add to that, my dog likes to ride on my lap
or stick his head out the driver's window.  That's ok, though,
because, otherwise, he'd be chasing the cat which happens to be
sleeping on the dash.

I don't have to worry about lane-changes, because I just drive
in the passing lane.  To keep from getting speeding tickets I
always travel 5mph below the speed-limit when in the passing
lane.  I'd shut the turn-signal off, except I can't hear it
because my stereo is thumping out 150 dB of volume and rattling
windows ten blocks away.

I'm a good doobie and I drive a car--this big old Buick that
fogs the neighborhood to keep the mosquitoes down.

I'd get catarack surgury done on my eyes, except I'm afraid that
they'll take my license to drive away if they discovered I'm
legally blind.  I haven't paid for auto insurance in years,
though.

The dashboard on cars today is way to high.  I can barely see
through my steering wheel.  If it wasn't for my fedora, you
wouldn't even know I'm in the car.  Maybe I should get a Class-A
Motorhome.

Those morons in those big SUVs are really dangerous.  I can't
see around them.  Nobody needs those gas-guzzling contraptions. 
If I need to carry a big box in the car, I just stick it in the
right-front seat.

Tires don't least near as long as they used to.  But I think
that those exposed steel bands do give me better traction.

I hate wearing seat-belts.  It's so difficult for me to turn
around so I can talk to my passengers.

I agree.  Driving while talking on the cellphone should be
illegal.

AG-Schnozz


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