My wife and I had planned on going on a mini vacation this fall
to northern Wisconsin/Michigan during the fall color change.
Waterfalls, colorful trees, rocks, and isolation. We
desparately needed a break from the routine. Our lives are so
incredibly busy (I work the standard zillion hours and my wife
is on staff at a church so our weekends are taken up too). Our
youngest just turned three and the elder is four, so you can
imagine what life around the house is like.
Two weeks ago, my wife was "encouraged" to have a near emergency
surgical operation to remove what was thought to be a cancerous
uterus and ovary. Last year we dealt with breast cancer and it
was understood that the chances of U.C. were greater if she took
Tamoxifen. That was a risk worth taking. Ended up, everything
was cancer free, but there were a couple of other problems that
needed immediate attention so the surgery was not a wasted
effort. In fact, she was experiencing so much pain that when
she woke up after the surgery the first thing she said was "the
pain is gone!" We are now dealing with the recovery process and
a daughter with the flu. Joy.
Anyway, I sat here longing for a change of scenery. Something,
anything to provide an "escape" from the realities of life. I
had syched myself up for a time of exploring, photographing,
relaxing and being creative. But, alas, it isn't to be this
fall. Priorities take place and love and responsibility
overrides playtime. It will come, but just not now. Number one
priority is being a husband and father.
What is one to do? Sulk? Get bummed out? No. I changed the
pictures in my cube. I have put up pictures that I've taken in
years past of the very places I would want to be right now. In
my mind, I'm taking a proxy vacation to those very locations. I
can close out the sights and sounds of the office environment
and hear the sound of a breaze through the trees, water falling,
and the crunch of leaves under foot. I can smell the fresh air.
I am surrounded by creatures both great and small rustling in
the leaves and preparing for the upcoming winter.
As I type this, I am transported to a small stream in the Cosby
corner of the Smokey Mountains. I am sitting on a rock watching
the water flow down through a five foot drop. I can sit here
for as long as I want. I'm in no hurry to hike back down out of
the forest before dark. It doesn't matter that it's drizzling
as I'm dry and warm. The feelings, emotions, and memories of
that time have returned to give me a satisfaction during these
trying times. I have temporarily escaped current reality.
One of my primary reasons for taking up photography was being
able to share the experiences, feelings and emotions with others
who weren't so fortunate to be where I was. Little did I know
that these same photographs would come back to aid me years down
the road. I am not jealous of those times, nor do I wish that
our lives were different than they are. I am just so thankful
that I've been priveledged to have "been there, done that" in my
life and that I can look back on the good times with fondness
and reexperience those emotions. These were defining moments in
my life. This is who I am. This is what I am. I AM a
photographer, an artist, an outdoorsman, a naturalist, an
athelete, a husband and a father.
I do a little comparison of my life with others' and I realize
that I don't have it so bad. Our health problems are temporary.
This too will pass. Others have health problems that may never
pass. I know that eventually, we will go on vacation again to
places far from any electric lines and interstate highways.
Others will only be able to read about these places in Outdoor
Magazine. I know that eventually, I will enjoy backpacking with
the girls to places unknown. Others may have trouble standing
at all, much less hiking for miles with 40 pounds on their back.
I know that eventually, our lives will return to some form of
"normal". And if our lives didn't return to "normal" I know
that we will adapt as necessary.
And I will have my pictures that allow me to take Proxy
Vacations whenever I need to get away.
KN
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