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Re: [OM] For the pilots among us

Subject: Re: [OM] For the pilots among us
From: "Jim Nichols" <jhnichols@xxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Date: Wed, 22 Feb 2012 14:34:58 -0600
Thanks!  You brought on the most laughs I have had in a week.

Jim Nichols
Tullahoma, TN USA
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Wiliam Wagenaar" <wiliam@xxxxxxxxx>
To: "'Wiliam Wagenaar'" <wiliam@xxxxxxxxx>; "'Olympus Camera Discussion'" 
<olympus@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx>
Sent: Wednesday, February 22, 2012 2:23 PM
Subject: Re: [OM] For the pilots among us


> Just received this message from my brother in law and thought you might 
> also
> have a laugh.
>
>
>
> Wiliam.
>
>
>
>
>
>
> Qantas Airlines: Repair Division
>
> In case you need a laugh:
> Remember, it takes a College Degree to fly a plane but only a High School
> Diploma to fix one.
> After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'Gripe Sheet'
> which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
> The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, 
> and
> then pilots review the Gripe Sheets before the next flight.
> Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour.
> Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots
> (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by
> maintenance engineers.
>
> P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
>
> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit.
>
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on back-order.
>
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
>
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what friction locks are for.
>
> P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> S: Suspect you're right.
>
> P: Number 3 engine missing.
> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
> P: Aircraft handles funny............ (I love this one!)
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
>
> P: Target radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>
> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.
>
> P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding
> on something with a hammer.
> S: Took hammer away from midget.
>
>
>
> -- 
> _________________________________________________________________
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>
> 


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