Well, that Ilford news just made my day. Here's my lamentful
song:
Bye Bye Miss Black and White
by AG Schnozz
A long long time ago
I can still remember how
That film used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could make those images dance
and maybe I'd be happy for a while.
But Ilford made me shiver With every picture I'd deliver
Bad news on the easle I couldn't make one more exposure
I can't remember if I cried
When I read about that shutdown notice
But something touched me deep inside
The day Black and White Died
So bye bye Miss Black and White
Took my film to the trays
But the trays were dry
And them good old boys were using D-76
Singin' this'll be the day that I die,
This'll be the day that I die.
Did you photograph the book of love
And do you have faith in safe lights above?
If Ansel Adams tells you so.
Do you believe in Black and White?
Can the Zone system save your sanity?
And can you teach me how to expose real slow?
Well, I know that you're in love with film
'cause I saw you in the darkroom
You both kicked off your filters Man,
I dig those rythmny tones
I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck
With a Olympus Camera and my pickup truck.
But I knew I was out of luck
The day Black and White died
So bye bye Miss Black and White
Took my film to the trays
But the trays were dry
And them good old boys were using D-76
Singin' this'll be the day that I die,
This'll be the day that I die.
Now for ten years we've been on our own
The OM system is as dead as stone
And moss grows fat on a dull mid-tones
But that's not how it used to be
When Miatanni designed the one, two and three
With OTF he borrowed from Minolta
And a Bokeh for you and me
Oh, and while Miatanni was looking down
Canon stole his crown
The darkroom was abandoned
No more film was processed
And while Ansel Adams rolled in his grave
Digital was practiced in the park
And we sang dirges in the dark
The day Black and White Died.
We were singing bye bye Miss Black and White
Took my film to the trays
But the trays were dry
And them good old boys were using D-76
Singin' this'll be the day that I die,
This'll be the day that I die.
Helter-Skelter in a darkroom
Film flew off with a boom
Eight seconds high and falling fast
It landed exposed out on the grass
The photographers tried for a forward pass
But Ilford's on the sidelines in a cast
Now the darkroom air was sweet perfume
While the artists worked a print in selenium hue
We all got up to photograph
But we never got the chance
'cause the digital cameras tried to take the field
The film users refused to yield
Do you recall what was reveiled
the day Black and White Died?
We stared singing bye bye Miss Black and White
Took my film to the trays
But the trays were dry
And them good old boys were using D-76
Singin' this'll be the day that I die,
This'll be the day that I die.
Oh, and there we were all in one place
Images Lost in Space
With no film left to photograph again
So come on, silver be nimble silver be quick
Empty jars sat on the shelf
'cause darkness is the developers only friend
Oh, and as I watched Ilford step off the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage
No film born in hell Could break Digital's spell
And as the strobes flashed into the night
To light the sacrifical rite
I saw Canon laughing with delight
The day Black and White Died
He was singing bye bye Miss Black and White
Took my film to the trays
But the trays were dry
And them good old boys were using D-76
Singin' this'll be the day that I die,
This'll be the day that I die.
I met a girl photographing blues
And I asked her for some happy news
But she just smiled and turned away
I went down to the camera store
Where I'd bought film years before
But the man there said you can't buy it no more.
And in the streets the children screamed
The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed
But not a picture was taken
The film cameras all were broken
And the photographers I admire most
Ansel Adams and a gathered host
They photographed the last train for the coast
The Day Black and White Died.
And they were singing bye bye Miss Black and White
Took my film to the trays
But the trays were dry
And them good old boys were using D-76
Singin' this'll be the day that I die,
This'll be the day that I die.
They were singing bye bye Miss Black and White
Took my film to the trays
But the trays were dry
And them good old boys were using D-76
Singin' this'll be the day that I die,
This'll be the day that I die.
__________________________________
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