Thought these would make some of you smile.
Aircraft Maintenance
Here are some actual maintenance write-ups submitted by US Navy flight
crews, and the actual replies from the maintenance crews. This proves
that
flight maintenance crews have a healthy sense of humor.
Reported problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Response: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
Reported problem: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough.
Response: Autoland not installed on this aircraft.
Reported problem: The autopilot doesn't.
Response: It does now.
Reported problem: Something loose in the cockpit.
Response: Something tightened in the cockpit.
Reported problem: Evidence of hydraulic leak on right main landing
gear.
Response: Evidence removed.
Reported problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Response: Volume set to more believable level.
Reported problem: Dead insects on windshield.
Response: Live insects on order.
Reported problem: Autopilot in Altitude Hold mode produces a 200 fpm
descent.
Response: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
Reported problem: IFF inoperative.
Response: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
Reported problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Response: That's what they're there for.
Reported problem: Number three engine missing.
Response: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
Gregg
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